Can it be 2009 already....

The end of this year is proving to be very rough. Yesterday after church pulling out of McDonalds from having lunch, the clutch went out in my car. Now we found out today that we are looking at almost a thousand bucks (probably over 1000 after taxes) to get it fixed. Well I chalk it up to being able to drive my car for another 3-4 years. So It will be worth it long term. After all I only have ten more months to pay on it. So keep us in your prayers. God always seems to get us through these times, so I'm not going to sweat it.

Christmas come and gone....

Well Christmas came and went this year and by all accounts was fairly uneventful. I think as I grow older some of the luster of this holiday has worn off. Actually I think it is more likely that the comercialization of the holiday has tarnished it a bit for me. I long for the old days when a candle light service meant that you carried your candles out of the building with you when you went. Kind of like carrying the light of Christ out into the world. And when the anticipation of the morning kept you up all night. And the pinnacle of the Christmas eve service was the person that was lucky enough to sing O Holy Night. This year they actually sang Have yourself a merry little Christmas in the service. Mind you I like that song very much, but it just doesn't seem to hold what I would consider the true meaning of Christmas, like silent night or O Holy Night. So my mom and Bill will be coming here for New Years. So much for getting drunk and lighting fire works from our back door (lol just kidding). Anyway it will be very nice to see them. The last time they saw me I was 50 lbs heavier and barely able to jog 2 miles. I made the decision this week that I want to run a half marathon in May. I'm sure I can do it, as I have run up to 7 miles just recently even in 60 minutes. So I just have to start focusing my efforts and expanding on that 7 mile run at least once a week so that I can build up to the 13 miles I will have to do for the half marathon. I just wish I didn't feel so blaaa this year. I hope 2009 brings better things for everyone.

Promising news...

Well the recruiter called my yesterday and told me that I made it to the second round of interviews for Home Depot. They let the holiday season creep up on them before they knew it and now the second round will take place the second week in January. It sounds very likely that I'll have some form of offer in the near future though. So I'm excited. Takes a huge weight off my shoulders. Now if I can just get Office Depot to terminate me and give me a severance package right when Home Depot is giving me a job offer that would be the best of all possible outcomes. I'll settle for a secure job where I don't have to wonder and worry for my employment though.

Rough times....

I often wonder if God sometimes lets us dangle by our ankles just so we learn to trust him with our daily subsistence. This week Office Depot closed down 6 distribution centers,and 122 stores. 2000 people are losing their jobs. The RCC and the Crossdock in Columbus that are mine are closing. My boss who is a regional manager is closing down Detroit DC leaving him one less and leaving me one total. I'm not naive enough not to believe that as soon as they close the crossdock and RCC that I'm not completely expendable to the company. So I'm holding on with baited breath to see if I get my second interview with Home Depot. They were supposed to let me know this week if I got the interview. I haven not heard anything. The recruiter is playing it cool telling me not to get overly concerned. Needless to say my stress level is mega high. I think I need to get on my knees and give it up to God. Let him take over and leave it in his hands. He's never let me down before. So anyway, I need to find a good stress relief mechanism. Suggestions are welcome. Don't say exercise. I do enough of that already :)

New jobs in my future?

Well, in the past two weeks I have had three recruiters approach me offering me new and exciting opportunities. One was with Amazon.com in a role very similar to what I am in now and paying more. But that opportunity is on hold until the new year. The second is with Home Depot as a regional loss prevention manager. It would included 50% travel, and that is something that doesn't really thrill me, but I knew to get back to that level travel would be included. It pays much more than what I currently get, and being that it is with the number 2 retailer in the world and my job would be more secure than my current situation, I feel I have to explore it to the point where i get an offer and determine if it is enough to make the jump. Two different recruiters called me for this job and I know I'm the perfect fit for the job, so I will start the process and go through an interview on Tuesday to see if they are as interested as the recruiters. Will blog more after that interview to keep you all in the loop. Office Depot has been struggling so bad the past few quarters. They just let a bunch of people go, in what they call the first round of cuts. I don't want to be in the second, or third round of cuts, so I think I'll jump ship while the jumpings good.

You are Faithful - Miriam Webster

I heard this song in church today. It really struck me. No matter how unfaithful we may be, God is always faithful. He is perfect and cannot be anything but be faithful. I'm so happy that I have this rock to anchor to and to be my strength.

Is it the middle of October all ready....

I looked up and realized I'm so over due to catch up on this blog. So nothing much is happening. Busy at work, and the cub scouts is driving me nuts. I hope some day Matthew tells me what a life changing event it was for me to be his den leader in cub scouts. Because short of that I can think of nothing else that would make this hell worth while. The weather is starting to change, and get cooler, and I LOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEE fall. It is my favorite season. I'm somewhat disappointed that the leaves have no character here in Ohio. They go from green to yellow to brown. No reds or oranages. Very bland. But I love sweater weather, and I love football. I love the smell of autumn, and I love halloween, pumpkins, spiced apple cider. Possibly the only drawback is raking leaves. But for all the perks I'll take that one small inconvenience.

Long dark week in Cincinnati

Okay, so we had a wind storm on Sunday all day long. It was very windy, thought I saw Toto go by once. Anyway with all the wind over a million households (you guessed it) ours included lost power at about 12:30pm Sunday. Just long enough past kick off that I was heavily in football salivation mode. So I thought, okay so the lights are out for a few hours no biggie. Well here I sit six days later and no power still. You got it no power still. Everything in the fridge and freezer is gone, and I just finished grocery shopping on Saturday evening. And you have never seen physical comedy until you watch me try to take a shower in 40 degree water. Lather here rinse there, ssssshhhake and shhhivver here, rinse there, a few profanities utttteeeeerrrrrreeeeeedddd hhhhheeeerrrreeee. Well you get the idea. I went on an exercise and diet strike this week too. I figured if I have to live in the dark, and shower in the frigid waters of the north, then at least I'm going to enjoy eating, and its not like I can run on the treadmill without electricity. I did do a 5 mile run through the neighborhood on Tuesday and lifted weights, but that was the extent of my exercise this week short of walking back to the kitchen for a second helping of caramel apple. So Duke Energy was in the neighborhood tonight and I had mixed desire to shoot at them, and hug them for being there. They told me that they had to replace two poles, several transformers and trim some trees and that by late morning/early afternoon tomorrow we should have power again. I hear the hallelujah chorus somewhere in the distance and joy fills my heart. People are at wits end, and I will tell you this experience has convinced me that I both need to buy a generator and a gun. Because if power ever goes out for more than a week, it is quite clear I'll need both.

Football season is here, and all that means...

The weather is turning a bit colders, sweater weather is just around the corner and I can feel it. I'm not sure what season I like the best, whether that be fall or winter, but I think I'm excited that Fall is finally on its way. I love the changing of the leaves, and the smells of fall. I love fires in the fireplace, although I don't relish raking all those leaves. Anyway the first week of football season is over and it was a doozy. First of all I'm very pleased because both of my fantasy teams won this past week. Next I'm pleased because I nailed just about every game I called. And finally I'm pleased because my Eagles absolutely kicked butt this past week over St. Louis. 38-3. I know it was the rams. People at work keep telling me not to celebrate to wildly. I get to see the real challenge on Monday night of next week when the face a resonably good Dallas Cowboys. So I am in my glory as the NFL football theme runs through my head. Don't you just love football season.

Natonal Air Force Museum

Yesterday was Labor Day. Don't quite understand why everyone doesn't work on a holiday called labor day. Maybe they should call it Leisure day instead. Anyhow, we all took a trip up to Dayton and went to the Air Force museum that is located at Wright Patterson Airforce Base. It has everything from the Wright Brothers (including actual artifacts from the first planes) to the modern day stealth bombers and even a section devoted to Space exploration. It is housed in 3 jumbo air hangers and took us almost 4 hours to walk through the whole thing. You could really spend a whole day their absorbing and reading non-stop, if you don't have two little boys tagging along, that is. I particularly liked the Holocaust portion of the museum. There was violin the from one of the jews that suffered through Kristallnacht and was forced to play his violin while the nazis tortured his father and destroyed all his earthly possesions. Quite remarkable stories in that portion of the museum. Anyhow I'll post some pictures in the coming days.

ATL Fishing trip

The fishing boat captain finally sent me my picture of one of my catches during our fishing trip so I thought I'd go ahead and post it. Better late than never.

Trip to Hueston Woods State Park

Yesterday, Tina asked me to take a vacation day from work and go on one of our last trips of the summer with the children. She had heard of this park that wasn't too far away so we decided to give it a try. The park was about 40 minutes from our house and we kinda got a late start (around 12:30).

Once we pulled into the park we stopped and ate a picnic lunch we had packed for ourselves. I was starving by the time we got there so it made sense. Then we hit the little nature center at the park. It was kinda small but neat none-the-less. They had several snakes behind glass (which is the only way I like to see them), they also had several fossils, and a bee hive behind glass where I was very impressed that my children knew that the queen bee had a red dot on her head. It amazing that their education has left them with such wonderful knowledge about so many things.

After the nature center we made our way to the fossil beds. This was a somewhat dry stream bed that ran for quite a long while that had layers of broken shale in which were all sorts of fossils. The best part is you could take it with you so we have lots of fossil bearing rocks around the house right now. We spend an hour scouring for neat fossils. We also saw huge fish in the stream, several snakes, and interesting water features. Unfortunately with lots of loose shale and a wife with a bum ankle she ended up hurting herself just a might.

After the fossil beds we made our way to the beach for swimming in a large man made lake. We laid out a blanket and all climbed into the water. It was amazingly warm and clean. The kids had a blast. Tina and I waded in for a bit as well, and then got out and chilled in the sun on the blanket. I started by reading a few chapters in a book recommended by my friend Rob. Then I just luxuriated in the sun and did something I rarely do; I did some hardcore sunbathing. I should have put the sunblock on a bit earlier though, as I now have a slightly pink appearance. I'm not really burned, just a bit pink.

Anyhow, it was a great time had by all the Savage clan, and we will definately mark that park down on our list of places to go back to when we have time. It also had lots of other activities we plan on attacking out next time out which included, horseback riding, mountain bike rentals, archery range, paintball course and some I'm sure I forgot about already.

Interesting day

Okay, so I had an interesting day. Basically got the old, we really need you on the sound boards response from my audition from last week. That being said, I always pray that God use me where he will, and maybe he wants me to chill in the rear of the church on the sound boards for a while. Today I also found out that our company in a cost cutting bit slashed 2/3 of the transportation department positions and many fine people lost their jobs. 35 of these individuals can re-apply for a new transportation position and not be out a job next Friday but the remaining 60 some odd people are gone. This worries me just a bit being that I am in a support position with in my organization and reorganzation in my department wouldn't be out of the question. So I'm looking on Monster, and keeping my options open. I'll hope for the best but plan for the worst. I know God didn't bring us here just to drop us on our heads, so I just have to trust he'll work out everything in due time.

Praise and Worship Audition

Well it came tonight and I felt my voice was a bit shaky during the audition. As a matter of fact I kinda blew one part on the first song I did on the Piano as well. But I did rather well on Bring the rain, and then they asked me to do a song where we could all sing together and they could hear me with a group. At first they asked if I wanted to hop up so they could play it for me or if I wanted to play it. It was Draw Me Close and I just happened to be practicing that particular song quite a bit over the past few weeks. So I stayed and played. And that part went really well. Then they gave me the whole tour of the sound and video stations. At the end they said they needed to schedule a night where I could come to practice with my guitar and play with the band and then at the end try leading a few songs. So long and the short is, I really don't have any answers. I don't know where I stand, but at least they didn't say thanks but no thanks. I think they are trying to decide where to put me. Whether that be playing an instrument, singing, leading, or sound bouards. So stay tuned and I'll clue you all in when I know more.

Wednesday is closing in quickly...

So feedback and suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I have two songs that I'm contemplating using for my solo performance during my audition. If I had to pick from the two I would choose "Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me. The other song is "You have Been So Good" by Paul Baloche. I thought I would record them on video cam and get everyones feedback. Let me know what you think, and those with a musical background (such as Linc, Jim or Deb), if you would give me technical recommendations and feedback that would be very much appreciated as well. So here they are..

Atlanta draws to a close....

Sitting in the airport waiting for a flight that is much later today and thought I would get on here and declare my stupidity for all. Last night is a blur, and not because it flew by, but because I over imbibed. We went out to dinner as a group (the Business Services Division guys from Office Depot) and I had a few glasses of wine with dinner. I actually didn't cheat on my diet too awful much as I only ate half my Chicken Marsala and did not eat desert. Then after dinner I was planning on playing Eukre with some of my co-workers, but we couldn't find the fourth to join us. I was going to just run down to my room and pack, but my old boss Mark asked me to join him at the bar. I normally might have sat and drank one more glass of wine and politely excused myself, but from previous issues that occurred with Mark back when I transferred to Cincinnati, I felt that he was offering a sort of apology so I felt somewhat obligated. As such I settled in for a while and played numerous rounds of billiards, and drank numerous glasses of wine.

Here is where things get a bit fuzzy. At some point Tina called me (I know this because she told me this morning that we talked), and I know I had intended on calling her when I got back to my room. Somehow I made it back to my room (I assume under my own power) and woke up laying on top of my bed (it was still made), all the lights in the whole room were on (and I'm not talking one or two, every single light), and my clothes were strewn throughout the room. It was 3 am. I went around the room and turned out all the lights and went back to sleep.

When I woke up at 6:15 am to pack and prepare for my trip home a forensic examination began. I found an article of clothing in almost every room. I vaguely remember being in that room and leaving clothing as I went. That is why I'm fairly sure I did all this under my own power and wasn't carried there by the culprit that gave me the Rufe (Just a joke). Why I turned on all the lights I don't know. What I do know is that I had a horrendous hangover the likeness of which I have never felt in my life (and hopefully will never ever feel again). At some point during packing I placed my car keys inside a pocket of my laptop case that I never use and subsequently in my hung over state got to the airport and was sure I had left them in my room. I called the hotel and had them check while calling one of my counterparts that was with us last night to see if they would collect them and get them to someone on the way to the airport if they were found at the hotel. I didn't get any strange or odd response or tales of my inebriation so I assume I didn't do anything stupid. My counterparts are always very ready to let each other know when we've done stupid things. Its like sharks in the water when blood is spilled. I also discovered that the bus drivers that take you from the rental car return to the airport tend to stomp on the gas and the brake frequently, and make sharp turns. I also found that in a hung over state, quick starts, and stops and sharp turns result in extreme nausea. But I managed to keep my cookies in the cookie jar sparing those poor rental customers from sharing my Chicken Marsala with me. So I just have to make it a few more hours to the other end of this funk and I'll remember to make wiser choices in the future.

Atlanta Trip so Far...

So I've missed the family this week that is for sure. I know the boys are having a good time at VBA this week, and Tina is most likely enjoying her break from work. I do worry about her getting too awful lonely while the boys are gone, but I'm sure some alone time is nice also. Went fishing out at Lake Lanere (sp?) yesterday. We were out on a boat four people including the captain. It was our free day activity. I caught three really nice 4-6 pound stripers. I'll have a picture forthcoming at some point. Anyhow that was a blast. The conference in general has not lived up to the standards of previous conferences. The speakers were sub par or not really as applicable as those we've had in the past. However today we had a gentleman by the name of Jamie Clarke come and speak with us (http://www.jamieclarke.com/pressbio.htm). He was incredible. He was a part of three different attempts to reack the peak of Mt Everest (led two of them himself). He and his team did succussfully reach the peak and his stories and pictures of those trials were both amusing and entertaining. He was a wonderful speaker that really brought out the importance of holding fast to our dreams and continuing to drive for them until you succeed. I know he also tied in the importance of team work and continuing to fight hard till you acheive your goals no matter how difficult they may appear. Anyway he has been by far the bright spot of this conference. I'll update more later, but just wanted to jot some notes down.

Tina is thinking of starting up her own blog as well, so those who are familiar with her as well you can be looking forward to that link being added to my blog spot listing very shortly. After I get home I'll work with her on some of technical issues related to bloging and she'll be up and running. Well have to run to the team building activity, but wanted to take just a short minute to update everyone

What do I do when I grow up...

Have you ever considered a mid-life correction? Have you ever thought about a job change? I have, and I thought that the IT field would be the ticket. I finished my IT based degree and found that nobody will hire you with less than 2 years experience or a masters degree unless you willing to start out at $30K a year. I just couldn't take that kind pay cut, especially with the new student loan expense that i have to pay. So I'm thinking what do I want to do with my life. I don't want to be 55 and still wondering how I got roped into another 20 years in the loss prevention field.

So I've been having thoughts about what I would do if I opened my own business. I wouldn't mind opening a gym of my own, and getting my certification as a personal trainer. Rob was kind enough to send me a link where I could obtain my certification for just under $700. But I also though maybe if I went and got more education as a nutritionist, I could increase my demand as a personal trainer. Additionally this would give me a revenue stream outside the gym (working for a hospital or nursing home). Another avenue would be to pick a specialty in the IT field and get my Masters degree. Ahhh so many choices so little time. All I know is that I am very tired of loss prevention and retail. I love the flexibility of working what ever schedule I want. I also love being able to be in charge of multi-site buildings so I can get out now and then. I just am tired of hunting for people at their worst. I would rather look for a profession where I can help people acheive their best.

Well, until I decide I guess I'll have to stick with the money maker and determine what it is I want to do next. Did I mention I'm open to suggestions... =)

Atlanta is coming quickly

Every year we have a annual compliance meeting with my job. The loss prevention department, risk management, and internal audit all get together for a week long meeting where we recap where we are and set the vision for the coming year. It is always held at a swanky resort and although you never have much spare time to enjoy the place your at, they do give you one free day and allow you to select an activity that is fun for that day. This year we are holding it the same place as last year (Chateau Elan Resort and Winery - google it if you want). It was nice last year except that Tina and the children were with me cramped up in a room with two double beds. It was tight. This year I'm going alone. I'm really looking forward to the event. I find myself thinking about it more each day. So I'll try to get some photos for the blog, and you can check out last years even on our family website under the photos section.

Diet and Exercise...

I think I might start a side blog where I record my progress with my diet and exercise program. Back in 2002 I put my diet updates and progress approximately every month on a website here http://garysavage.tripod.com/diet.htm. When I started that diet I had gotten to about 220 lbs and wasn't very happy with how I looked. In six months I dropped down to about 173 and was very happy with my progress. I dropped from size 40 pants down to being able to wear some size 32 pants. Mostly I wore 34 inch waist pants though. At that point I began traveling alot with KB Toys. I was on the road 3 weeks out of every month Monday through Friday in some far away place eating at restaurants and sleeping in hotels. It was not exactly a recipe for success for diet or exercise and I slowly started climbing back up the scale. It took me about five years to pass the worst point from before.

On April 9, 2008 I hit 239 and was barely fitting in my size 42 pants. I was cow like and needed to lose weight. I was concerned with my colesterol, my blood pressure, my back pain, and continually thought about my good friend Jim who had a stroke in his 30's. So I started a diet on April 9. To date I have hit a few milestones. I comfortably fit in size 36 pants, I'm down to 199 lbs, and my fitness goals are going very well. I run between 4 & 5 miles a day, I lift weights 3 days a week, my blood pressure is below normal, and my back pain has virtually disappeared. I'm not there yet, but I'm well on my way. I noted that my dimensions now are much different than when i was at the same weight back in 2002. In fact I am at the point now that I was at 185 back then. I figure I've added quite a bit more muscle mass. I'm not too disappointed with 40 lbs lost in 3 months. It took Valerie Burtinelli (Van Halen's wife) 6 months to lose that much :-), and she probably had personal trainers. So anyway, I would like to have a 31.5 inch waist. Where ever that falls on the scale is just fine with me. So I think I'll start a side blog just to record my fitness levels and my progress on the scales. Look for that sometime today.

Music and Me...

For those that know me well at all, you will know that music has always played a huge role in my life, ever since I was young. I still remember at age 6 when my heart broke because my mother who was probably tired from working late kicked my toy piano down the stairs and broke it because it was in her way. Anyway recent developments have me seriously contemplating music, its role in my life, and its role in my faith. On August 6, at 6pm I have an interview and audition for my current church to play/sing/lead with the praise and worship group. I am beyond nervous. To understand why I would have to take you back a bit. I started doing special music in church back when I was in my early teens. I loved doing it, but I would always be so nervous my hands would be literally shaking. Stage fright was horrible. But I would normally practice so much I would get through it just fine. It was definitely a sacrifice to God hecause I was a wreck before and afterward. (I'm not sure I ever told anyone that I felt that way). Anyhow around age 14 my minister asked me if I would be willing to play the piano through the whole service. I agreed, but did not practice enough. I was given the songs only a week prior to playing. I was nervous all over and did not have the practice to support/overcome the nervousness. It was horrible. I was so embarrassed, and for years I would only do special music after that. Then around 19 I remember I had gotten back into church with my friend Linc and he and I did special music together. (He had the best voice). Anyway they figured I could play and when a pianist didn't show they asked me to play (last minute thing). I should have said no but I agreed and it was UGLY. So I didn't play again (except for special music) for years. It actually increased my anxiety for playing in front of others.

Then when Tina and I moved to VA beach and they had a need for a choir director for Christmas I volunteered, and it worked out well. Very well. They asked me to lead music all the time. I had found a niche where I was not so nervous. This was always a more traditional type of hymn music to this point. When we moved to Indiana we joined a church that had praise and worship. It took me a few weeks to get used to not singing hymns. I'm not sure I liked it at first, but I grew to love it over time.

When we moved to Alabama, I joined the praise and worship band. I would play guitar, Bass, back-up keyboards, or run the sound boards. Where ever I was needed. It was during this time that I my nervousness in front of others began to fade. First I noticed that there was no hand shaking nervousness when I play guitar in front of others. Second, I found when I was in a group of musicians and the focus was not entirely up to me, it was great.

When we moved to Virginia, we were part of a new church plant. I took over the music immediately. They had been a traditional church and I introduced a blended music format(mostly praise with some old hymns thrown in). As the church grew and my experience grew my nervousness almost completely went away. I felt wonderful leading music and being in a position to bring others to the throne of God in worship. I just had a gifting from God for selecting music, and leading it in such a way that people would break down and cry, hearts would melt, and people would be truly in a place of worship. I praise God he gave me that opportunity. I always say he prepares the called sometimes instead of calling the prepared and this was definitely the case in my situation.

When we moved to Maryland, I tried to join the praise team at Mountain. First you must understand this was a church of 3000 members. Many very talented musicians were part of this group. I kinda felt like a hack next to some of them. My audition was not done in a manner I would have liked. I was given a date to show up, which I did and then sat down in front of music I had never seen and told to play it. Prior to my audition I had prayed to God that if he wanted to use me in this way to make it happen and if not I would be at peace with his will. The audition was pretty ugly and I was mentally back in the spot when I was a kid playing badly in front of the whole congregation. Needless to say the worship leader let me down softly and I found other area's to serve.

So now, I'm in a church of about 1300. They say they have a need for a praise leader and the desire of my heart is for God to use me again in this way. I kinda feel like Sampson chained between those two posts, blinded, and asking God to give me the strength (in my case the talent) to be used again by him for a mighty work. I have my audition on August 6, and I want to work on my solo audition piece until it is perfect. I want to praise God at the same time, but I really have some anxiety about this audition. I know God uses the weak things of this earth for his glory and I just pray that this is why he has made this feel like a weakness to me.

So now you know a little more about me, and about my (some would say) irrational fears. I don't think I've ever shared this with anyone except in this format. Just too hard to verbalize I guess.

Good old days part 3

Linc had asked me the other day to post some of the photos from Columbus so I did and I also pulled up some other memories from the same album. Anyway take a look at the next few posts to see some Savage history.



Why I was wearing a smurf outfit I don't know. But here I am at 19 playing guitar. I had only begun learning about two years earlier.

Good old days part 2

My best friend Ikia Fabian Perry. I was teaching him Kung Fu. Here we are sparring

Taken March 23, 1988. My girlfriend at the time, and my two good friends Rob and Steve. (Rob on the left died in 1991 of cancer)

Here is a good shot from the College days. I think I was 19 here.

Same party as above

My good friends Chuck, Stephanie, Kim and me in my ChiFa (Kung Fu Uniform)

The good old days

Senior Prom with April Johnson

Graduation day 1989 with friends Jennifer Alleger and Annete Ditzler (Jen Died in a car accident in 1997)

My best friend Jim Heverin and Annette Ditzler Graduation day (I still keep in touch with Jim)

Me and my Nephew Adam. Hard to believe he is now 19 years old

I am the light of the world...

Today's message in church really made me think about Jesus statement. The message really was just about how the speaker had a friend that he had never shared his faith with. It started by showing the horrible child sex slave trade that exists and talking about a specific girl that was sold into this lifestyle. It kind of made me look hard and ask myself some deep questions though. I have had two friends in particular that I led to Christ. Then after I had planted the seed, answered many questions and got their compass headed the right direction I moved on somewhere else. Many years later I learned that I had planted the seed, others had watered them and God had made the seed grown inside both of them. (Guess I can relate to Apostle Paul in that regard). Both the friends I had left behind are still actively involved with God and with a deep faith. That makes me smile that I could be used as a tool of God.

Then Deeper yet.... I think of my time working with the homeless ministry in downtown Baltimore. My friend Linc recently reminded me of this time. Some of the worst down and out stories, young children wearing rags and glad to get a good meal in this week. I think of the children in Haiti, Vietnam, India that are bought from their parents for pennies and enslaved as either menial labor, or sexual objects to be used and thrown away. I think of the pictures our friends shared from Kenya where people live in small shacks with no windows doors, furniture or even floors. A river behind the village is the sewer. And then I look at my life. I've live in relative luxury compared to 90 percent of the worlds population. I wonder why. There is so much darkness in the world, and when you look hard enough you can almost be swallowed up by it.

I guess you just have to be focused on the light of Jesus, and be willing to share some of that light with others. Our friends go to Kenya every year to help over 100 children in a school there. They get two meals a day, clothing and an education as a result of the efforts of churches and people that are willing to shine God's light in their direction. The homeless ministries shine Jesus light to the downtrodden by providing a meal, some clothes, and just some encouragement. There are so many ways to shine his light but I've been sitting on the sidelines for a few months now just basking, and not reflecting. Think I need to start looking for some shadowy targets of my own.

Getting Started Here

So here I am starting a new blog. This is a first for me. Many would say that I'm a generation beyond blogging, but I say phooey to them. Anyway this week I have had a flood of old friendships come back and open up by means of Facebook. I signed up for this like six months ago but at that time there just wasn't anyone on facebook that I knew. In three days I've linked up with four high school friends, two recent friendships, and one friend from early college days for which I was as close as I've been with anyone. I have a person I would consider my absolute best friend (Rob), but others I have seemed to lose touch with as the river of time flowed on by. Now they seem to have come back front and center. It is wonderful. One of those friends that was a roommate, a musical partner, a confidant, and a brother called me today. I was sooo surprised and we talked for an hour. We caught up on old times, old friends and old memories, and it was so nice. I forgot how much a good friend means.

So now I've started this new blog. Why you might ask. Well I shouldn't be the only one to see into this freakish mind of mine. I want to share it with all who desire to enter the dark realms within. (LOL) Really I see this as a golden opportunity to get some of my memories, thoughts and feelings out there so as I grow older and memories start to fail me, I can always look back and remember. Its a great way to give some insight to my closest friends and let them know how things are going in my life from week to week. So I shall try to get on here at least 2-3 times per week and let everyone know how things are going.

For now Sainara